I’ve learned more about my own value from the hard stretches than from any of the good ones.
The question I wasn’t asking
There have been times in my career where I felt like more should be coming my way. More recognition. More reward. More investment in where I was heading.
And sometimes that feeling was valid.
But I’ve sat in that space long enough to know that it can quietly stop you from asking the harder question; the one that actually moves things forward.
Was I really doing the things that mattered? Was I contributing in the ways the company valued, or just staying busy in the ways that felt comfortable to me?
That shift in thinking changed a lot for me.
What hardship actually taught me
I didn’t always get that right. And life has a way of only giving you the reward after you’ve been through something.
The difficult stretches; whether in work or outside of it; taught me more about what I bring to the table than any of the easy wins did. There were moments where I finally understood what was actually required, and those were exactly the moments things started to move.
I also noticed what happened when I drifted away from what I was genuinely good at. When I wasn’t leaning into my energy, my consistency, my way of thinking; I felt less effective. Not because I was doing less, but because I was doing the wrong things for where I was.
Effort isn’t the same as alignment
I’ve had periods where I was working hard and getting nowhere. Looking back, it wasn’t a lack of effort; it was misalignment.
I wasn’t clear enough on what the business actually needed, or what I was genuinely working towards myself. It’s a bit like wanting to buy a house but not having properly thought through what that actually takes. You end up busy, but not moving.
When I got clearer on both; what I was trying to build and where I could genuinely contribute; things started to click. The effort didn’t necessarily increase. It just landed better.
What I keep coming back to
I don’t think the answer is to perform a version of yourself that fits the room. I’ve tried that. It’s exhausting and it rarely works long-term.
What’s worked for me is knowing where I create real value; and showing up fully in those spaces.
That’s what I keep coming back to. Not a polished version of myself. Just the real one, applied to the right places.
That’s where the growth has been. In work and beyond it.
